Songs: 2020
100 songs that meant something to me this year, and some thoughts on listening.
Someone listening to the radio in 1920(ish) (Library of Congress)
I came home from a late-afternoon walk one day in March to find Waxahatchee’s Saint Cloud sitting on my front porch in a cardboard package. I’d ordered the record in that blurry period after it had become clear that the coronavirus would brutalize America but before it started affecting my daily life in Florida; by the time it got here, I was in my first or second week of working from home. I experienced that time span as a sort of quiet queasiness, one I could still settle with little splurges: an album and a few books, a package of fancy local foodstuffs, a spread-out sunset beer with friends. The waves of horror, fatigue and hopelessness would drown or at least complicate so many worldly pleasures later, but when Saint Cloud showed up the day before its release date, the thrill of listening to it for the first time, frantically texting friends about the drum sound on “Oxbow” and the surprise two-word vocal harmony on “The Eye,” could still carry me through the next week.
In the nine months since, I’ve often reached for Saint Cloud like one might an oversized sweater handed down by a parent, softened by so many wears and washes and still smelling, somehow, of home. Katie Crutchfield’s fifth album would probably have some of that quality anyway, exemplary as it is of the kind of sun-dappled country and heartland rock that I adore. But it also feels tethered to a world that was, if not substantially less complicated or less damaged at its core, a little less like being stuck on a tower drop at the center of a burning amusement park. Saint Cloud’s gorgeous first singles, “Fire” and “Lilacs,” came out when we could still blare them in a packed car on the way to the bar. I had imagined them soundtracking an unblemished summer. It’s my favorite album of 2020, and it’s the last album I loved before a veil fell over the world, and I feel sure those things are connected.
Music critics, especially in this year-end list season, have been unable to resist writing about this year’s songs and albums, especially the consensus “best,” through the lenses of isolation and anxiety. I don’t blame them — a critic’s job is to explore how art engages with the world around it and vice-versa, and if it’s a little one-note, well, I’m doing the same thing here, so I can’t complain too much. I did most of my music listening this year while driving or cooking or laying in bed. I leaned into my comfort-food music (indie rock, country, folk, emo, various blurrings thereof) and listened to less of everything else. I heard a lot of songs I probably wouldn’t have found otherwise just because I fell asleep with headphones on and woke up with the algorithm playing “related” tracks. I loved a lot of the albums everyone loved and also loved some that got nowhere near their due (all my love, Young Jesus and Empty Country). I even managed to get some truly indelible listening moments out of this year: Bumping White Pony in a hot tub, hearing Adrianne Lenker’s “anything” for the first time at the end of a mountain trip that reminded me how good the world can be, singing “Islands in the Stream” into a spatula as my girlfriend and I spun around her kitchen.
I usually make a year-end albums list to post somewhere online, but even though I heard plenty of albums this year that I’d be happy to praise, that didn’t feel quite right. A desire for normalcy and my brain’s constantly fried state meant that I mostly returned to the same dozen albums or so, rather than spreading out my listening as much as I would in a normal year; plus, there are albums I think will hold up great in the long-run that this year’s circumstances kind of stymied for me (I thought Dogleg’s kick-to-the-jaw of a debut, Melee, was wonderful, but not the best soundtrack for my movements from bed to desk to couch and repeat; Phoebe Bridgers’ universally beloved Punisher clearly spoke to a lot of people this year, and though I immediately appreciated the brilliant writing, its mood didn’t quite click for me when it came out over the summer, maybe because I didn’t want to feel extremely sad and extremely warm at the same time — it’s hitting a lot stronger now that Florida is cooler, often stormy and dark by 6 p.m.).
So here’s a list of 100 songs that meant something to me in 2020. It’s loosely ranked but would probably change if I redid it tomorrow. I held myself to one song per artist, just for the sake of it not being dominated by a handful of people. Some of these probably came out as singles last year; there’s a remix of a 2019 song, a sort-of cover, a “reimagining,” a track from a singles and b-sides compilation, a song from a “lost” album, a case of an artist redoing an old song of his in a different style. But hey, it’s my damn list. I probably forgot some stuff I really liked. I encourage you to tell me what I missed, and I hope you find something here to love.
Waxahatchee - “Fire” / Adrianne Lenker - “anything” / Sam Hunt - “Hard to Forget” / Empty Country - “Marian” / Young Jesus - “(un)knowing” / HAIM - “Gasoline” / Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - “Creamsicle” / Frances Quinlan - “Went to LA” / Taylor Swift - “mirrorball” / Bill Callahan - “The Mackenzies”
Phoebe Bridgers - “Garden Song” / Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain” / Rod Wave - “Through the Wire” / Sinai Vessel - “Guest in Your Life” / Perfume Genius - “Describe” / SALEM - “Starfall” / Wild Pink - “The Shining But Tropical” / Lucinda Williams - “Big Black Train” / Hailey Whitters - “Red Wine & Blue” / Fiona Apple - “Ladies”
Blake Mills - “Vanishing Twin” / Dehd - “Letter” / Sorry - “Right Round the Clock” / The Mountain Goats - “Picture of My Dress” / Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip” / illuminati hotties - “will i get a cancelled if i write a song called, ‘if you were a man you’d be so cancelled’” / Brandy Clark - “Pawn Shop” / Courtney Marie Andrews - “How You Get Hurt” / Destroyer - “Kinda Dark” / Yves Tumor - “Gospel for a New Century”
Shabason, Krgovich & Harris - “I Don’t See the Moon” / BUMPER - “You Can Get It” / Tenci - “Earthquake” / Neil Young - “Try” / Rina Sawayama - “STFU!” / Duval Timothy - “Fall Again” (ft. Lil Sylva and Melanie Faye) / Bleachers - “chinatown” (ft. Bruce Springsteen) / 100 gecs - “ringtone (remix)” (ft. Charli XCX, Rico Nasty, Kero Kero Bonito) / Kelly Lee Owens - “Corner Of My Sky” (ft. John Cale) / Waylon Payne - “Sins of the Father”
Masterpiece Machine - “Rotting Fruit” / Jess Williamson - “Infinite Scroll” / Sylvan Esso - “Ferris Wheel” / Cut Worms - “Baby Come On” / Bartees Strange - “Flagey God” / Katie Pruitt - “Expectations” / Makaya McCraven & Gil Scott-Heron - “I’ll Take Care of You” / Hum - “The Summoning” / The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)” / 2nd Grade - “Velodrome”
Sturgill Simpson - “Breakers Roar” / Fleet Foxes - “Sunblind” / Buck Meek - “Roll Back Your Clocks” / Pinegrove - “Endless” / Pure X - “Middle America” / Charli XCX - “enemy” / Sad13 - “Ghost (of a Good Time)” / Jeff Parker - “Go Away” / Angel Olsen - “Whole New Mess” / Caribou - “Never Come Back”
Hayley Williams - “My Friend” / The Japanese House - “Dionne” (ft. Justin Vernon) / The Goalie’s Anxiety at the Penalty Kick - “God’s Country” / William Tyler - “With News About Heaven” / Joyce Manor - “House Warning Party” / Jackie Lynn - “Casino Queen” / RMR - “RASCAL” / Julien Baker - “Faith Healer” / Kathleen Edwards - “Options Open” / Terry Allen - “Death of the Last Stripper”
Oneohtrix Point Never - “Lost But Never Alone” / Jason Molina - “Shadow Answers the Wall” / Shamir - “Other Side” / The Men - “Breeze” / Shell of a Shell - “Knock” / Christelle Bofale - “Miles” / Mary Lattimore - “Til a Mermaid Drags You Under” / Shygirl - “FREAK” / Higher Power - “Lost in Static” / The Killers - “Caution”
No Joy - “Four” / Rico Nasty - “OHFR?” / Midwife - “S.W.I.M.” / Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou - “Ancestral Recall” / Injury Reserve - “Hoodwinked” / Ashley McBryde - “One Night Standards” / Growing Stone - “Play the Rogue” / I’m Glad It’s You - “Big Sound” / Sprain - “Worship House” / Dawn Richard - “Buttah”
Bad Bunny - “Hablamos Mañana” / Skullcrusher - “Places / Plans” / Lil Uzi Vert - “POP” / Gillian Welch - “Here Come the News” / Julianna Barwick - “Inspirit” / Long Knife - “Night of the Hunter” / Tennis - “Need Your Love” / Slow Pulp - “Idaho” / Protomartyr - “Processed By the Boys” / Portrayal of Guilt - “It’s Already Over”